
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brilliant stroke of genius, President Donald Trump has just disguised himself as a Muslim migrant so that Europe now has to let him invade Greenland.

MIAMI, FL — The Indiana Hoosiers credited their shocking college football championship victory to discipline, teamwork, and the $370 million spent buying their roster.

SAINT PAUL, MN — The controversy that erupted over last Sunday morning was finally addressed by authorities, as Minnesota leaders ordered the arrest of churchgoers for interrupting a leftist protest.

NEW YORK, NY — The woman behind YouTube's most popular and beloved educational content for children found herself in hot water, as Ms. Rachel issued a public apology for accidentally spray-painting "GO AWAY JEWS" on a synagogue.

HOLLYWOOD, CA — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences released its list of Oscar nominees for 2026, with Sinners being nominated for "Best Movie We Have To Nominate Or Else We Will Be Called Racist."