BURBANK, CA — The Walt Disney Company announced a bold new take on a classic remake of a classic film property this week when it unveiled its plan to release the first-ever live-action remake of an animated remake of a live-action remake of an animated remake of a live-action remake.
U.S. — Following its poor performance in the attack outside the Trump Hotel in Las Vegas this week, the Tesla Cybertruck was unanimously voted Worst Vehicle by members of the National Association of Terrorist Car Bombers.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a formal statement, the FBI has called on Internet sleuths, particularly X users, to please stop solving crimes before they have a chance to do so.
U.K. — England is safe once again after Metropolitan police caught and jailed a man who made memes that offended child rapists.
U.S. — In an effort to address recent violence, the United States Army has decided to begin asking applicants if they plan to carry out a massive terrorist attack.