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Russell Brand Convicted In UK Court On Charges Of Raping While Not Muslim

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LONDON — Harsh justice looked set to be carried out soon, as actor-comedian-podcaster Russell Brand was found guilty in a UK court on charges of raping while not Muslim.

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gangsterofboats
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Democrats Grateful They No Longer Have To Pretend To Be Normal

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U.S. — With the midterms finally over, Democrats across the nation felt an enormous sense of relief that they no longer had to keep pretending to be normal.

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gangsterofboats
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Lame Duck Trump Figures He May As Well Start Speaking His Mind

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Friday that, as a lame duck president with nothing left to lose, he had decided to finally start letting loose and speaking his mind.

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gangsterofboats
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Karen Bass Says It Was Unfair For Voters To Judge Her Performance Based On That One Time The Entire City Burned Down

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LOS ANGELES, CA — Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass scolded the city's residents on Friday, saying it was unfair for them to judge her performance on a single isolated incident, like that one time when the entire city burned down.

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California No Longer Prosecuting Murderers Who Kill Fewer Than 950 People

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SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom announced this week that, in addition to commuting all death row inmates' sentences to life in prison, the state of California will no longer prosecute murderers who kill fewer than 950 people.

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gangsterofboats
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Democrats Didn’t Win – Republicans Lost. There’s a Way To Fix This

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