NEW YORK, NY — Responding to public outcry to set the record straight after a terrible act of political violence launched the debate about dangerous rhetoric to the forefront of American consciousness, the New York Times issued a minor clarification that conservative activist Charlie Kirk had said "Hitler is bad" and not "Hitler is good."

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As millions of Americans continued to mourn several days after the assassination of a prominent conservative leader, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi announced the plan to honor Charlie Kirk's legacy by doing the exact opposite of everything Charlie Kirk stood for.

U.S. — As the divide between the political right and left continues to grow wider, a new report showed that Satan has found an unprecedented level of popularity as the new top influencer on the social media platform Bluesky.

DEARBORN, MI — Mayor Abdullah Hamoud of Dearborn has officially declared that the city will be renamed "Dearborn Islamic Caliphate of Michigan."

NEW YORK — Former Washington Post journalist Karen Attiah made history Wednesday as the first ever recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for "Best Fabricated Quote."

As the investigation into Charlie Kirk's assassin continues, debate has raged in the public square about which ideology the killer followed.